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What a catastrophic disappointment I love thinking about the history of old houses, so this sounded like an ideal spooky read for me Somewhere within the first 50 pages, it all unraveled and became naught but a mess.First, I really don t like the author s style His sentences don t seem to flow at all, only appearing on the page in fits starts There are way too many sentence fragments for my liking In addition to that, the narrator s voice just feels too forced When you suspect someone has threatened is threatening a loved one, and the adrenaline is running high, who in their right mind says, If something has hurt them, I will run amok YOU WILL RUN AMOK WTH All along this guy has been dropping the f bomb and swearing left right, but when his adrenaline is up and panic surging, the best threat he has is that he will run amok With such an aversion to the narrator s voice, I had difficulty engaging with the protagonist This became even troublesome with long, confusing surreal passages, such as the dream sex sequence with his wife maybe I can barely dig into the story as is and then you re going to concoct gauzy semi stream of consciousness sequences Now I m even LESS engaged, if that were possible.Then there are the characters themselves I can t help but feel as though Conrad is a bit of a Mary Sue just too many personal details about the character that don t come off as insightful or meaningful so much as indulgent the snakes, the rescue dogs, the bookselling None adds into a cohesive character, just Ransom indulging in a bit of whim by giving his own interests to Conrad As for Conrad s wife, Jo what in the world is redeeming about this woman Their fights are completely incomprehensible she jumps from topic to topic and gains offense reading into things that I had NO CLUE where she got it Again, the thought process didn t follow logically While fights in real life may not always be entirely logical, either, fiction needs to have some connective thread for the reader.Finally, I m not entirely certain about the house s history Women just came and birthed babies and went home It seemed like there were some permanent residents or were those just the nurses What about the doctor s sick mantra take a life to give a life So, you were guaranteed a death of SOMEONE in every birth yet people still came to him to deliver their children WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD ANYONE DO THAT Also, was the doctor Alma s father AND her rapist I m still unclear on that one.Was the narrator crazy or the house haunted Somewhere in the middle, Ransom began to lean towards the first and the house diminished significantly in importance Then suddenly, in the last quarter, the house regains its original stature This plot ambivalence frustrated me I scare easily and this book did not scare me in the least because I spent too much time snorting in derision or just plain confused. (((FREE PDF))) ↠ The Birthing House ↡ Best Ebook, The Birthing House Author Christopher Ransom This Is Very Good And Becomes The Main Topic To Read, The Readers Are Very Takjup And Always Take Inspiration From The Contents Of The Book The Birthing House, Essay By Christopher Ransom Is Now On Our Website And You Can Download It By Register What Are You Waiting For Please Read And Make A Refission For You Pardon the pun, but this book was stillborn the horror factor was lukewarm, the gratuitous swearing and sex I m sure some readers may think that they weren t gratuitous but they really do feel that way, like they were added for effect rather than organically coming from the book , and the prose were just not doing it for me I got flashes of The Others the Nicole Kidman movie, not the Tyrone book , Amityville Horror, Stephen King, Mickey Spillane and Horror Writing for Dummies Not even halfway through and I gave up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right This is a book about the power of semen It also has a retarded ghost not retarded as in lame literally the ghost of a mentally disabled person who is modeled after the character Nell from the movie Nell the one who says tay inna winn, missy chickobay it is particularly telling of the author s talent that he actually, there on the page, compares this ghost to Nell himself As in, I did not draw this conclusion on my own Somewhere in this book there is a sentence that basically reads Then the ghost said omma bahbee lovies and it reminded me, the protagonist, of that character Nell from the movie Nell My only wish is that this book could be made into a suitable low budget film that I could watch for free on On Demand, because I know it would be the awesomest drinking game ever I would drink every time the dumbest thing in the world happened I would be drinking approximately every twelve seconds I would die from alcohol poisoning The circle of terror would finally be complete.I am now going to go make my roommate read it because that seems like it would be a bonding thing This is quite truly the worst book I have ever read, and I can t keep something like that to myself. So, a first novel, published by a major Brit house, marketed as horror and freely available in supermarkets and coming complete with great blurbs and a very favourable comparison to Stephen King and The Shining Does it live up to any of that No, I don t think so The story is fairly straightforward, a marriage is in crisis and in an effort to reinstate the status quo, the protagonists move to the Mid West Except Conrad, a failed everything whose father has also just died, isn t particularly likeable and his opinion of his wife Joanna changes from chapter to chapter, depending on how it suits the story she s a slut with Conrad s ex best friend , domineering, submissive, lying, open, happy, sad whatever you want We also meet two other women Holly, the ex from way back and Nadia, the pregnant teen from next door The Holly situation is meant to mean something big, but it just reads like the male fantasy of a teenaged girlfriend Nadia veers in her character, going along agreeably with Conrad because he offers her money, without his really explaining what it is that he wants of her As it is, the books biggest problem appears to be a lack of an editor, it s at least a third too long, maybe a half I was lucky enough to read three quarters of it during a trip to France, so I had to keep going but at times it was very tedious in the middle, I went through 100 pages and the only thing that happened in all of that was Nadia s boyfriend getting killed The ending feels tacked on and rushed and, even though we have mention of the doctor at the start, we don t actually see the character until page 370 of a 400 page book I kid you not It also fails as a horror novel the gore, when it comes, is either done so that you don t really catch it or it s focussed on to such a level that it becomes desensitising such as with Nadia Worse, this had the potential to be really scary an old house, long dead women, babies crying in the night they re all there but none of them are utilised well and all of the times they appear are so clearly signalled, you know they re coming half a dozen pages before., And don t get me started on the stupid stick doll or the author s insistence on tricking the reader several times, by attempting to confuse the clicking of the walking doll with the clicking of Conrad s dogs claws on the wooden floors I don t know what Michael Marshall Smith read, but it can t have been this, nor what the person read who compared it to The Shining this is an overlong, bland, not badly written but not well edited novel that doesn t appear to me to do anything it promises on the cover Give it a miss. I absolutely hate false advertising On the back of the cover of this book it proudly states it s the scariest novel since Stephen King s The Shining This is not true, it s a complete lie and a huge insult to Mr King Like everyone else that has apparently brought this book, I fell for this and I was drawn to the spooky cover and the synopsis on the back of the novel that sounded so good The novel doesn t live up to the expectations of the description on the back What is book really is is an extremely poorly written novel that isn t even the slightest bit scary, written by an a truly awful author The dialogue is terrible and appalling, the plot is absolutely dreadful, and there isn t even one likeable character in the entire book No actually that s not true, I liked the two poor dogs, everyone else could have died on the first page for all I cared All the characters are poorly developed, emotionless, and unrealistic Conrad Harrison, the protagonist in the novel, was a complete wanker who annoyed me severely throughout the whole novel And his wife, Jo, was a total bitch Ransom s writing style was atrocious and immature Whole paragraphs in this novel made no sense whatsoever It felt like it was written by a horny 12 year old The plot was confusing and uninteresting I had a big problem with the creepy photo album, which I thought was going to be a big part of the story, but it was destroyed by the protagonist a few chapters into the novel That photo album was probably the only creepy, most interesting thing about the novel and it went up in flames right at the start I think the person at Sphere Publishing that decided that this novel should be printed needs to be sacked Don t waste your time with this one because the only place it belongs is in the trash can One star I can t even What the hell I read the whole book and I m still not sure what it s about I was so confused there was no plot really and the timelines didn t make sense, and the ending well I m not sure there even was one I would give this book no stars if that was a choice Ughhhh I m completely at a loss with this book It was one of the most frustrating reads I have ever read I still don t know why there was so much sex talk when no one was having any sex , and the iced tea thing there was never an explanation A lot of this story was left undone and if I wanted to fill in the blanks on a story myself I would have written one and not wasted my money on this book Plus the main character Conrad was just really super creepy he was like just trying to put any girl In a wife s space,he was even making creepy moves on the neighbors 19 year old pregnant daughter, it s like he was obsessed with her The story was jumping around from place to place like he would have an idea and write a few pages and just try to find a place for it, there was like 2 pages about being on an iced tea island and taking a bath in the iced tea waterfall I think the guy must have been craving iced tea super bad cause there is a lot of iced tea drinking and dreaming and thinking about going on in this book Also there was this whole thing about him raising snakes that felt like he added it as an after thought and how the snakes were illegal to own bit if he had snake babies he could get a paper published and sell them for a hundred thousand dollars So weird I don t know I m still scratching my head Seeing as the reviews for this seem to be so bad, I thought I d better mention that my review is not a critical one So I don t know if it s just a personal preference and taste thing Or maybe I m just easily pleased compared to others Who knows But I know I seem to be in the minority when I say I really enjoyed this book I found parts of it genuinely creepy, which isn t something I say too often Granted, it s far fetched and slightly confused to be fair, what horror novels aren t but if you take it as it is and don t think too much into it, it s a good read So, whether you liked the book or not, that s my opinion Take it or leave it Now let s go back to our lives and remember that writing good books, particularly in the horror genre, is bloody hard work throws mic on floor Very poor book I was seduced by the cover it s great However, the author needs to note that esxcessive use of words fuck and shit and all their declensions does not make a book mature or cool The premise is interesting a guy moves to a new house, where he finds a 100 year old photo of unknown womenamong them his wife.But the writing is bad, the characters cardboard, the relationship so devoid of substance that one might think it came from a Hollywood movieOne of the indirect quotes A man is happiest just after he came That was supposed to be deep or what Another note graphic sex scenes do not add any value to the book if they are just graphic and useless I read it to the very end because I wanted to know if the author sold his idea he didn t Overall, it s not an impressive debut it s a badly written haunted house flick. This was chosen because it was constantly on the best seller list in airport bookshops when I was travelling earlier in the year I thought there must be a reason and the blurb on the back about it being the best horror since the shining convinced me to read.About 2 3rds of the way through, I was going to give this poorly written book the benefit of the doubt that the poor reviews here and on were simply due to that comparison it wasnt scary but plodded along However, having read the last third of the book when I can only say that the story descends into chaos where I did not have a clue or care about what was going on, this has to go down as the one of the worst books ever written And I include the ones that I didnt enjoy and stopped wasting my time reading in that list.The story builds nicely Conrad Harrison is recently berevead out of work with a marriage that he thinks is failing With his inhertitance he buys a family home in Wisconsin and moves in with his wife hoping for a fresh start The house is haunted and his wife before witnessing the hauntings goes on a business trip for 8 weeks leaving harrison with his horrors.Except, its not that horrific and the tension doesnt build The house is a former house for children to be born in and the old occupant provides Contrad with a photo album that appears to have a picture of his wife He lusts after his pregnant teenage neghbor and his past with the love of his lfie is revealed.Then it all goes utterly spanners What the hell happens in the last 100 pages is anyones guess and if you are brave enough to read this pile of tosh, then good luck in deciphering it.